Bone to Flesh

See....you’re just my surface friend.
not my deep down bone to flesh type friend.
the kind where we go through whatever and still mess type friend.
i mean, you know only see what i let you see.
but my bone to flesh type friend, sees the real me.
the deep down, behind the wall for real me.

See, i don’t let you know too many things.
why?
because as soon as i tell you,
peter, paul, jack, mary, eric, an nem know too.
i can’t trust you no further than i can see.
cause i know that your intentions are not for the best of me.

i question us sometimes...wonder if you can be bone to flesh too,
but you keep on doing that same ol’ bullshit,
which just reaffirms that i can’t trust...
you!
we start to build something real and for a minute you’re in my veins,
making me high,
invading my mind,
doing things that just aren’t the same.

But, just like the sun, your true colors come shining through.
and as i coming crashing back to reality,
i eject you from my veins,
to save myself from the pain,
the lies and the backstabbing,
the crabs in the bucket, grabbing....
pulling me down.
being untrue.

so, you go live in your fairytale world,
with your princess boy or girl.
happily ever after.
Me? I don’t want no part of your surface friendship.
it ain’t no good for me.
makes me sick and leaves me weak,
taking all of my energy.

my bone to flesh don’t do that.
nope!
they build me up and give me strength,
keep all of our secrets within.
no falsehoods...only truth.
in a world of reality,
connected by our sheer individuality.

bone to flesh....


.....flesh to bone


as one....

Untitled

Insecurity.
the voice that whispers.
disturbing the calm.
cutting through the darkness.
spreading doubt to all who hear.

It molds my mind.
manipulating ideas once perfectly formed.
cold and calculating,
it waits!
Seizing upon opportunities with the lightening speed.

It’s message flows over me.
turning things once known into uncertainty.
i wait.
unsure of myself.
lost in an abyss of confusion.
i wait.

Kind words of others reassure,
but do not strengthen my wall.
it is weakened.
open to attack.
slowly stones tumble.
scattering upon impact.

I gather these stones of my reserve.
i hope one day to rebuild.
to renew.
a bigger, better wall.
one fortified with confidence,
one that withstands assault.

For now, I lie weakened.
prisoner to the thoughts of self.
unable to break free from the bondage that is my mind.
but i no longer fear,
for experience tells me that weakness is fleeting.

My wall shall be strong.
solid.
impenetrable.
protecting.
built upon the experiences of the past,
fortified with the promise of the future.

Untitled

I gave my heart to you,
But you don't know what to do with it.
Protect it, I say.
Don't just handle it any ol' kind of way.
Keep it close...don't hold it so far away.
Giving other pieces of my heart.
Denying the love I have for you, for us.

I don't know why i even try.
You don't see things the way I do.
You think loves a game to be played between many,
But to me, loves no game.
And now because you didn't care,
Neither do I.

I put you on a pedestal.
Cherished you like no other.
Loved you when others told me not to.
It's too soon they said.
It'll never work...you'll see.
But i was blinded by love.
Or at least the idea of it.
Well, i guess they were right.
Another lesson learned.

Never again will I fall victim.
I'm shutting my heart down.
No more love for me...it only leads to heartbreak.
It only leads to tears and pain.
Resentment and insecurity.
A loss.

Well, goodbye love and heartache.
I'm someone new.
I'm in a new place.
And guess what?
Love don't live here anymore.