Umm...can someone hold my hair while i vomit?

so, for most of you...this post is going to be a little too personal b/c 1. i'm taking pics half-nude while brushing my teeth and 2. you know me, and don't want to see me in any way like this...well, this post isn't about you, now is it? it's about me...so, anyone who's known me in the past couple of years have known that i have gone from one weight extreme to the other (well, not obese and pencil thin, but you get my point)...and you also know that i've been telling everyone that i'm going to lose thirty pounds. The majority of you have discouraged me from doing this...saying that i would look sick (isn't that the way it always is with people? saying nothing to a person's face, but asking behind their back, "is so-and-so sick?"...and i mean you blk people lol)...and it's really got me to wondering...why do you want to lose thirty pounds?...what is really going on?...so after talking to myself and various other friends, i've come to the conclusion that i have a small body image problem...i mean, how could i not, when all i see on the media is thin waifish girls, and buff bodied men...definitely not what i am in the least...so, if i'm not the image being portrayed...then something must be wrong, right?...clearly, (and i'll be the first to admit it)...my view of myself is flawed...i mean, it literally takes me 30-45minutes to get dressed b/c i have to find an outfit that compliments everything...i'll try on one thing...take it off...try on something else...and this literally last for a while...a good while...everything has to be visually pleasing from every angle...sad i know.one of my problems, i believe, is that i still see myself as the short, little fat kid that people laughed AT and not with...the image never really left...so instead of seeing the wonderful, handsome, perfectly fine person that i am...i see short, pudgy, and unattractive...which i'm not (beep!beep!)...so how do i overcome this body image problem? honestly, i have no real answer...the only thing that i can think of is that i have to learn to love myself...accept myself...be happy with myself...gain some confidence in my appearance so that it radiates outward...just learn to enjoy being me and the person that i am (insert india arie's I am not my Hair)...BUT...i am gonna tone up...and lose a couple of inches here and there...i need a summer body...i'm tired of wearing sweats on the beach....LMAO!!!

Lord....Somebody hold my mule!

so, i was thinking i wasn't going to post today, but i figured what the hell...i might as well. so, it's sunday, and today, i went to Bedside Baptist (what!?! i was tired...don't judge me like you ain't never been)...anyway, so my friend Jamille (remember her? if not...look below)...tells me that someone broke into her apartment and stole her ipod, camcorder, and some jewelry. Now, we had been talking about this earlier in the week b/c when she came back from winter break, she was talking about how her blinds were messed up and the door to the patio slightly ajar...at first she dismissed it as being maintenance b/c they were supposed to come in there over the break, but being the detective that she is, she did some sleuthing. It turns out, the theives had removed her screen and come in through the patio...mind you, she lives on the second floor...on a hill...like really...wtf? how desperate are you to get a few dollars? i mean, i know we're in recession, but damn...this almost makes me feel unsafe. clearly, i'll be off to state farm at the end of the month to invest in some renter's insurance (see...i'm thinking ahead)...i have full faith that Jamille will track them down...i mean, this bitch tracked down the people who stole her credit cards using their myspace, their account on some adult website, and by calling the places where there ordered stuff and found out their personal info...so the bitch is bad. she did all the work for the police...had the people's address and all (they were stupid for ordering a damn living room set and having it delivered to their house anyway...cmon fools!)...anyway...i think that's all for the night....but maybe not...we'll see

Sick of Being Lonely....

So, i bet you're wondering why i have a picture of field mob up, right?...well, it has come to my attention that dammit, like their song says, i'm "SICK OF BEING LONELY"...it seems that whenever i talk to any of my friends (so quietly...thanks DC3), they don't just have one love interest...they have multiple ones...hell, i can't even get someone to look my damn way...so, i was talking to my friend Randycash (remember him from the earlier post) and his reasoning was that, "i have the goods, but i just don't know how to flaunt it"...which of course may be true...for those of you who weren't there in my earlier life, you don't know that i used to be...umm...what's the word i'm looking for...FAT...yes, that's it. yep, i was short and fat...and this even led me to having the nickname "Chubster" by my two older brothers...mind you...i thought it had no affect on me, but clearly it has...b/c now i'm self-conscience about everything i do...how i look in certain clothes...how people perceive me...relationships...etc....being fat has caused me to overcompensate...i always had to be the smartest (thanks for stealing that from me Khaleh, lol)...the nicest...the friendliest...the kindest...and though it's ok to be those things...i think they've actually hindered me...b/c now, most of my relationships with people are based on me being their friend...nothing more...i'm permanently stuck in the friend zone because my overcompensating personality has caused me to be placed there...i was talking to marlon a while ago, and i told him that i felt like i was going to be one of those people who were permanently alone...and he just laughed and said i was crazy...but i don't know...i feel that way sometimes...but the real kicker is that a lot of my friends come to me for relationship advice...ME!...the person with the least experience...and i give great damn advice (not to toot my own horn but....beep! beep!)...well, hopefully, it's not true...and i'm talking crazy...but it certainly feels like it...maybe one day, i'll gain some extreme self-confidence and have to beat people off with a stick...but for now, i'll resign myself to living alone...sleeping in my bed alone...sharing my special moments with no one....sad really, but true...pray that it doesn't last forever....later!

Sushi anyone....?

So, as i write this...i should be getting ready to go out for sushi with my friend Laurent, but i figured i might as well make this entry as i'm getting dressed (read: sitting on my bed in my undies). Laurent is one of my philosophical friends...meaning, he's a thinker people...and i love him for that. he's really chill, but mad passionate about his ideas...which i also love. so, he hit me up last night and asked if he wanted to go for sushi...knowing that i would be super busy (read: not doing shit) i was hesistant, but then my schedule opened up (*roll eyes...right) and i confirmed for 2pm. so as for now...those are the plans...when i come back, i'll have pictures and stuff of Laurent and the food, but for now...just go get yourself a glass of red wine and relax...later!

Headed to NYC...lookin' mean in my skinny jean....

Ok...soooo, first of all...i'm not really going to NYC, i'm going to brooklyn...second, i won't be wearing skinny jeans...b/c umm...i haven't found any, lol...but yeah, so i'm headed to new york for like the 30th time...and it always gives me a thrill...you know...like it's the first time, everytime...i'd planned to stay with my friend nyles (hi nyles!!!)

but he's been sick and might be going home to detroit to recuperate with family...so i had to scramble like a single mother with the rent due to find a place to stay for the week that i'm there...just as a back-up b/c homeless in new york is not the business (chuch!)...so anyway, i've already been having like some of the most crazy moments ever since i booked my flight. first, nyles tells me he's moving and doesn't know if he'll be in a new place by the time i get there, so i might want to look for a hotel...ugh!...there goes $600-$700 out the window...and if i did that, i would be BROKE and no money = no shopping (say it ain't so, lol)...luckily nyles was just getting me all worked up for nothing...and thank God too b/c i really wasn't feeling shelling out that kind of money...so disaster averted...and i'm happy again...then today, he tells me about his mom wanting him to come home to recuperate...again, i go into full crisis mode...i can't really blame nyles b/c he has been telling me he was feeling sick and stuff and i know he's been going to the doctor constantly...so, i'm like fine...do what's best....lol...meanwhile, i'm dying in my head...so i immediately call my mother, my go-to gal for advice, and we discuss options...the first thing she says, no lie, is..."well, if you don't have someplace to stay, you're not going...i will lose all that money before i let you go"...i was like dang...i know this...so i bring up the idea of me charging a room...she's hesitant at first, b/c my (read: OUR) credit card is for emergencies...but i figured this counts as one, so...she caved...cut to me staying in a nice hotel for less than $600 (GO ME!!!)...and by less, i mean $5 less, lol...but it's really nice...the Nu Hotel in downtown Brooklyn (check my room!...but remember it's only a back-up plan...if nyles stays, i'll stay with him and keep my money...that means i can do more shopping lol)

umm...wtf blogspot?

so, as we we can see...i'm like totally new to this blogging thing...and i'm just looking at my first damn post and noticing some discrepancies in the fonts and size...and basically, my question is wtf...[insert puzzled look here]...so i like, know i formatted the font before i published it...but for some reason, this shit isn't coming out like i want it...geez!...it's this type of thing that discourages me from doing a blog...i'm mildly OCD and this is just pissing me the f*#$ off...ugh!...i'm going to get it together...just wait and see

that's it for now....

Introductions all around

So, it's 12:34am here in Nashville, TN...and as usual, i'm sitting on my couch on a Friday night watching movies....all by myself (boo-hoo for me, i know). Anywho, i decided since i'm not doing anything else, i might as well start a blog...try something different by writing down my thoughts instead of letting them run free in my head. So, i figured i should introduce myself before this thing starts rolling. I'm Christopher...22...a grad student at Vanderbilt...and if you haven't already been able to deduce...i lead a semi-boring life (again...tear). i'm basically a homebody, so i guess i can't really complain, but sometimes staying in this house all by myself is just so damn boring...at times i wish i had a roommate, but then i know if i did, i'd be ready for their ass to leave just as quick. So, as this blog will not only be about me, it'll be about the lives of my friends too...i figure i they
should make an appearance too....so here goes....in no particular order (or is it....hmmm):


Khaleh, f, 22
my bff since 6th grade...we are practically family (scratch that...we are family. when i go home to visit my family, after i've seen my folks and stuff, i head straight to khaleh's to interact with her family. we go way back and i don't know what i'd do without her...we're basically the same person, the only difference is she has a vagina and i have a penis (yes, i said it!)

Marlon, m, 23

So Marlon is my best friend from college. he is a damn fool...in every sense of the word...but he's my boy. when i need to laugh or just talk to someone, marlon is the one that i can go to...SOMETIMES (he be acting up sometimes, though). he's cool though...mad chill...with one of those grandpa type voices...he's hilarity at it's best










Jamille, f, 24
This is my friend Jamille...who affectionately goes by the nickname scoop. i however refer to her as my "rude bitch"....b/c she has absolutely no problem telling it to you just like it is...with no damn pretense. i love her though....she's also in my program, so we're really just some nerds trying to better ourselves. Now, just b/c she's getting her phd doesn't mean, she's no fun...she's my weed smoking, alcohol drinking, man chasing, cursing like a sailor friend....and i wouldn't have it any other way...with her rude ass.





Shenika, f, 24

another one of the people i've met here in nashville...shenika is also in my program...joining our fellow legion of nerds....and bringing the total count of black people up at vanderbilt to umm.....8 (lol...i kid...i kid). she's like the mother of the group...always making sure we know what we're supposed to be doing....checking in on us...you know...the regular. she's really cool though...she will laugh her ass off at just about anything, so make sure you don't say anything funny to her in class...i know this from personal experience...no damn control...lol...but that's why we love her...sometimes (kidding...you know we do)







Randall aka RandyCash, m, 21
so, randall is like the newest addition to my circle of friends...an instant bff you could say...he goes to school in atlanta and our meeting was so random...but that's neither here nor there, hmmm...(inside thing)...he's basically me...only taller (6'3)....and thinner....we both have come to the realization that we have no filter (at least i know i don't)...and that we're both funny as shit (cmon self-confidence)lol...he's cool though...the first night we met...we talked for umm...10 hours straight about the most random of things...i met his brothers...watched his youtube videos...and literally laughed my ass off...he is one hell of a guy...the typical, but not so typical college student who loves his friends and likes to get low (and i'm not talking about dancing...hmmm, lol)

David, m, 23

ok, so i've known david for what feels like forever, but it has really only been 7 months...i met him before i left moved to TN and we've been attached ever since...he is the most neurotic...anxiety-driven...worrisome man that i have ever met. i can't get mad at him because i used to be the same way, so i try and help to ease his fears with advice from experience, but there is just no pleasing david...i think he secretly likes those feelings (kidding D)...but he's really cool...a nerd like the majority of my friends...and he's totally not afraid to admit it (which i love)...his weaknesses...video games and exercise...he will literally stop or delay a conversation to play some game or to get in some exercise...to each his own, but i just can't do it (yeah, i'm lazy...so what!?!)

Aurnell,m, 22
now aurnell and i go way back....like summer 2004 PCI...oh, the hell we went through that summer...lol...he was my roommate during most of my time at PV...so basically every year after my freshmen year...and Lord did we have some times. There are times when i wanted to choke the shit out of him...like when he started a fire in our kitchen...hmmm....but, clearly it was all out of love. i've even went and stayed at his house during hurricane katrina...met the parentals and the sister...just become a real part of the family...he's like a brother to me...although his ass did transfer the year i graduated...but it was cool...he had to do what was best for him. he's also my cuban blood...i'll say whatever the fuck i want...bitch don't try me b/c i'll make you cry like no other type friend...and i love every minute of it...he knows what to say and when to say it and it's funny as shit...he don't play no games, so don't cross him...but he knows i'll whip that ass if he gets out of line, lol...just kidding....or am i...i can't wait to see you again.

Phoenix, m, 22
last but not least is my friend Phoenix aka Joshua...he's a texas friend of mine who, as he put it, lived in East Bumfuck Egypt, while I lived in West Bumfuck Egypt...yes, Phoenix is that kind of person...he doesn't mind telling you how he feels, but he's never mean about it...it's just...umm...him. i love him to death...he's a nice guy trying to make it on his own up in the big apple...and if i must say so myself, he's doing a wonderful job...he is one of the people that i will be hanging with when i jet off to NY, so i know that i will be laughing the entire time that i'm there and will get to see the real NY...b/c phoenix is just that...real...so i don't expect him to show me the glitz and glamour, just the gritty and real...which i'm so up for...btw, isn't his skin just so perfect...i hate him for it, but it's fine...we can't all be perfect, lol...love you buddy!