Ugh! I need a fucking break....

This week, i'm excited...i'm not excited about some great data i got in the lab or because i met some wonderful person...i'm excited because i'm finally going home. so, i literally haven't seen my family in 8 months. Though i don't really get homesick or miss them terribly [read: i talk to them everyday], i do get excited when i know i'm going home to see them. The kicker is that after 2-3 days, i'm kinda over the excitement and then ready to leave, lol...sad, i know. However, i'll be in Atlanta for part of this damn vacation visiting friends and family there too [read: mostly friends]...so I won't have a chance to be too over it...or so I think. The other bright spot in this story is that my bestfriend is going to be there. She lives in South Carolina now, so I haven't been seeing her as regular as i'd like too, but when our powers combine, we are CAPTAIN PLANET!!! oh, wait...no we're not...we're just two gay black people...whoops! oh, well...anyway, i'm excited to see her and catch up on her life because she too is one of those people who i've kinda been slack with in the communication department, so i need to re-solidify that bond.

I will be leaving on Thursday afternoon and not returning to this God forsaken city until the 15th, i believe...it's just that bad that I don't even care, lol.

oh, yeah...the pic below es mi familia. mis dos hermanos mayores y mis padres :)

Relationships...ugh! so hard!

Well, i was about to take my ass to bed seeing as it's 2:43am, but then the idea of relationships popped into my mind. why? i don't know, since i'm currently NOT in a relationship and haven't been in quite some time [cue the violins], but then i started to think of the word in a broader sense and realized that i wasn't just talking about my barely existent lovelife, I was more so referring to my friendships. Lately, well, within the past year, I've realized that I've kinda grown distant from the people who I used to hang with/see/interact with everyday when I was living in TX back in undergrad. These were the people who, at the time [at least in my mind], would be the people i kept in touch with forever. We'd be invited to each other's weddings blah, blah, blah...but now, as time as passed and we've all gone our separate ways...i realize that this simply is true anymore. Those who I talked to everyday, are now people I barely call or text and who barely do the same for me. I guess it could just be a case of conflicting and busy schedules and such, but aren't friends...i mean, true friends, supposed to make the time to reach out to each other and keep in touch. Maybe we weren't really friends and I'd only imagined the relationship...or hell, maybe it's growth and I just don't realize it. A lot of the people I went to school with are still there...for some reason OUR 4 year plan, became THEIR 5,6,7 year plan...idk. it's just weird to me that I don't have that connection anymore...and i kinda have a small hole in my heart. I feel as at this point, it's kinda too late to reach out...b/c we're too far gone, but maybe that's the wrong attitude to have. who knows?

I also see this same sort of thing happening with people who I've met here in Nashville and on different social networking sites...it's like, there are periods of intense friendship...we talk, we text, we visit one another, etc...all the things that friends do...and then after a certain point...boom!...it's over. Then, the only time we see or talk to each other is through random interactions of mutual friends. I mean, don't get me wrong, this doesn't happen with all of my friends, but for some....people who I'd actually like to continue to have in my life....it does.

Sigh....what's a lonely old man to do? Suggestions are welcome!lol

Eh...it's been a while

So...i'll be the first to admit that it has been a while...and while no one really reads this or misses it...i will say that I have...in a way. I've just been super busy [read: lazy] that I haven't really had the time. Well...let's just pretend as if this long ass delay in my blog [if you can even call it that] doesn't even exist. The most important thing is that i'm back [yay!]. Actually....not much in my life has changed. I'm still single [insert sigh here]...I'm still a slave to school [insert even bigger sigh]...and i'm still leading the life of an 85 year old man [cocks gun and pulls trigger...BOOM!]. Yeah, i said it, i'm 85 dammit, and at times I don't care, but on this particular night I do...i just feel like i'm in a rut =/ I look at my friend's lives and I think to myself, geez...they're leading such fun and exciting lives and all I do is go to school and come home. The way I live my life, i may as well be a fucking old Amish or Mormon man. Shit! I don't drink...i don't smoke weed [as so many do, i've come to find out]...i'm not a clubber...eh...what am I to do? I guess i'm the way I am because none of those things interested me...but dammit, i'm only 23...i wanna be living the life of a freaking 23 year old! Eh...i guess more on this topic later...i really just wanted to say hello and let you know that i'd be back, but here i am ranting...well...back to your lives...good day!